Return of the Blogger...

Blogging and YouTube has really taken a backseat for me these last 6-8 months. So much has been going on in ours lives, but now it is starting to finally settle down and I can get back to the grind. :)

In December, my sister-in-law and I started lifting again, as well as joining a "diet" recovery group of sorts online. (GoKaleo!) We have both undergone massive changes in our lifestyles, minds, and bodies. It has been a very good and sobering experience. There are lots of ups and downs with this but so much good has come out of it, and I am feeling better every day. Lots of self-love happening over here! That is what I really want to focus this post on.

I have learned in these past months, that my body is an incredible work of art. I may have extra fat, stretch marks, cellulite, sagginess and unattractive qualities... But it has done, and still does, some pretty amazing things. Never take for granted the things your body can do. Those normal and mundane actions could be gone within a moment... Be grateful for them.

My body has grown two full term, chubby, healthy, beautiful babies. It is fertile and willing to take on the challenge of birthing a human-being. THAT IS INCREDIBLE. Don't you see? Seriously think about how amazing that is. My body, as a woman, was created to do this. (Hugs to mamas with fertility troubles...) and it does that job with a mighty force! The last baby was born all natural, with no drugs and did that job with grace. I have never felt stronger than the few seconds after that girl was born. Triumphant. Full of love. Full of joy. The way my body looked by societies standards did not matter in those moments. Why does that feeling go away once we get back to "reality"? Bodies don't stop being incredible just because we get back to schedules and forget about the simple things.

Right now I am able to squat 185 lbs, deadlift 250 lbs, and bench 105 lbs. 1 year ago I NEVER would have dreamed of that. I have met new friends that can do double what I do, and you know what? I'm happy for them, and happy for me. I don't get so caught up in jealousy and feeling mediocre anymore. I feel STRONG and I am happy with who I am. My body has done this within mere months! I am so excited to see what the future holds with lifting heavy things. My husband and I are planning to do our first competition in early November. Lift.The.Weights. :)

This post is pretty short but I just wanted to put a little bit of love out there. Was feeling inspired. :) Stay tuned for regular postings once again!

To the Protector and Lover of my Soul.

Do you ever feel just sick and tired of being in your own skin? Tired of being tired, sick of being sick, and feeling crushed by the extra pounds that seem to hang on even after so much work and effort? 

I do. I know it well.

Sometimes I just get the urge to run, just imagining that extra fat and skin shedding off the "real" me underneath. Usually  I calm down, after the tears and pain have subsided (or been buried) for a little while, until they eventually emerge once again. 

Not anymore. 

I imagine God looking at me thinking, "This beautiful girl of mine is hurting, but she is mine. I am doing a good work in her and I am going to complete it. If only she would look past the image in the mirror, and into my heart. Then she would see her true beauty, which cannot be found in a gym, a diet, or an appetite-suppressant. She is mine." 

Well, the truth is, I am over weight. I do have excess fat. If you came to me and asked, I could show you exactly where. Does the truth hurt? Yeah, it does. It means that I have been overindulgent, carried 2 children in my womb, not been as active, and are just plain worn out from the duties a mom has to carry out. But do you know what happens when you ask God to give you renewed strength?? He gives it to you. That is exactly what I did. 

My alarm goes off at approximately 6:29 a.m. every morning. I jump out of bed after breastfeeding my little 7 month old, throw my coat on, and drive to the gym. (If you know me personally, you know that I despise getting up early. This is big for me.) This crazy thing happens in that time it takes me to get there... I am FILLLED with absolute JOY! I am so thankful that I have a husband willing to stay home alone with the kids so I can go to the gym, two kids who will let me leave, and a baby that continues to sleep even after I am gone. I often come home to a quite house, where everyone inside is still sleeping. Those are beautiful moments in the eyes of a mom. 

I can't say I do this all my myself. I have a great partner in my sister in law, we keep each other accountable, motivated, and excited for our future selves. It helps me immensely to have her in the gym and outside of the gym for inspiration and encouragement. I highly encourage you to find a partner if you are just starting out. It makes it much harder to cancel last minute due to "I"m so tired..." "I don't feel good..." "Can't we just go 'tomorrow'?" 

Looking to my Heavenly Father for emotional support in this journey has brought renewed strength and a smile back on my face. I plan on getting back to the grind on my blog entries.... it was a "resolution" of mine for the new year... ha!

Love

-A

 

Sick babies and coconut oil.

I hate it when my kiddos are not feeling well. I really really really hate it. I just sit there and wish I could take away all the discomfort and irritations. Slathering their little noses in coconut oil, sucking out the boogies, and giving lots of sympathetic kisses.

"I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth. Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:3-4

Sometimes its hard to trust that God knows better for our kids than we do, how could it be possible that anyone love them more than us?? Someone that you grew inside your body, nourished with your breasts, and endured pain, sweat and tears over. Your child; God loves your child more than you could ever dream of loving them. Its a pretty mind-blowing concept. 

He Gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like an eagle; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. -- Isaiah 40:28-31

Restless nights and long days make for a weak spirit. Who do you run to when you feel as though you can't go on any longer without a nap or hour of rest? It sounds so silly, but when those hours hit, they hit hard. Satan knows when you hit you with doubting thoughts and lies. Don't buy into those, God is bigger than all that. Give Him Your burdens and tiredness. Give Him Your stresses and doubts.He will carry you to tomorrow. :)

"Lord, I pray that you would surround my home with healing and comfort. Give me wisdom in knowing how to provide for my children and comfort them in times of runny noses,sore throats, sneezers, and watery eyes. Help them to stay hydrated and nourished. Give me the patience to handle these sick days with grace and kindness, not letting my tiredness fog my spirit. We love you and praise you for being our great and Mighty Healer. Amen."

Stuck in a rut.-

Breastfeeding has landed me in a sticky situation.

My boobs hurt. All. The.Time.

Now-- this is not the norm, so for those of you that are pregnant and awaiting your beautiful first feed, take heart, I am just the exception to the rule. Breastfeeding should not give any discomfort after your initial "boobie initiation" from your little nursling. ANYWAYS.....

I LOVE lifting weights. Love it. My husband got me hooked and I did it up until I started getting morning sickness with my sweet girl. (I know, I know... exercise is supposed to help m.s. but it did NOT help mine, and who wants to puke at the gym?!) Since having her, I have learned that lifting weights can lead to clogged milk ducts. Yuck, no thanks. And when I run or jump, so do the girls, and that does not feel good in the slightest. Soooo that leads me to my question...

What do you breastfeeding moms do for a good workout? How do you keep the girls on lock down? I would love some input. Share your wisdom with me!

Much love

-A