DO it with a DOula and have a BETTER birth!

I get questions all the time about why we (my husband and I) decided to hire a doula to attend the birth of Nattie. Its a fair question, living in rural Nebraska (where homebirth with a CNM is illegal... such nonsense... another blog post for another day :) ) there is not very much knowledge about what a Doula is, what they do, or how to find one.

Let me just start off by saying that if you didn't read my previous post on natural birth, it would be good to glance at before continuing to read this post. I explain that my first hospital birth with my oldest did not go well, and all the reasons why. It was a typical 12 hour birth, with typical interventions... But not at all what I wanted and I knew there could be more to it. There had to be some magical part to birth that we were missing! A new LIFE is being brought into the world, what could be more magical than that, right?!

What is a doula? A doula is birth coach. (Well, there are two kinds actually, but I'm only going to be talking about birth doulas in this post. There are also postpartum doulas, but that's a whole different post!) They give a cushion between you and the hospital staff and assist you in the late portion of pregnancy as well as the birth. They make sure you are heard and receive what you want in your birthing experience.

I will now tell you how YOUR birth could be amazing, SHORTER, less painful, more focused, give you CONTROL, and really make the most of this once in a lifetime moment between you and your child.

*SHORTER. Having a doula reduces stress on you and your family members (if there are any in the room assisting you) by taking the role as coach. You don't have to remember all those things you thought were embedded in your brain during Lamaze class. She will help you breath, change positions, massage, go to the bathroom 1,000 times, give messages to the nurses, and over all give you a much more pleasant (pleasant?!) birth. When the body relaxes, it is much easier for the cervix and pelvis to open up and baby to come out smoothly.

*LESS PAINFUL. Yes, I truly believe this. Biblically speaking, when Adam and Eve were being cast out of the garden of Eden, God said "women will experience pain during child birth..." When you go back and see the actual translation of that, it does not translate to PAIN but HARD WORK. Tell yourself this. Over, and over and over. It is going to be like running a marathon. You have to train to run a marathon, it doesn't just happen... right?! So train your body. Do your kegels, relax, DRINK WATER, eat healthy, take your vitamins, get some exercise. Train your body for the marathon. I literally told myself this my whole 3rd trimester. Don't scare yourself thinking about the pain, it will do nothing but stress you out more. Think about the process and hard work you can and will do for your child.

After you have gotten into this mind set, the doula can work wonders with helping with the pain. Breathing, hypnosis, massage, walking, showers, baths, and birthing balls are all amazing sources of pain or discomfort relief. Your doula can help with getting to to any of these. Breathing was the biggest aid for me, and she will know how to help you. She will be filled with knowledge and understanding!

*MORE FOCUSED. You have a job to do. Its time to do it, and get that baby out! My doula always reminded me of the point in the labor when every woman starts to doubt herself and say she can't do it. She told me this before I started active labor, while we were walking the halls of the hospital. "Just remember that when you think you can't, you can. And you will. God has started a good work in you and He will complete it. You can do this." BELIEVE HER when you get to that point and she tells you that you can do this. Hopefully, you will get a doula like mine, (I call her my angel, because she is!) and she will quote scripture to you while you are laboring and make you cry during every contraction... Happy tears! :) She will make you believe that you are capable of completing the task at hand and are ready to finish it.

*GIVE YOU CONTROL. The worst thing about my first birth was that I felt out of control with my own body. I felt like scare tactics, medical terminology I didn't understand, and my age were taken advantage of and I was left in pain and confused about what was happening. I was not letting this happen again. She will make you feel like you are the boss of your birth. You decide when you get checked for dilation, you decide when you want to walk around and take a break. You decide if you need some water. You decide if you need pain intervention (but you CAN get through it without it, and she will help you!) and you decide what happens to your sweet baby after they are born. You are in control when there is a great doula by your side.

How do you find a doula? Ask your nurses, get on Facebook, Google, and ask your friends. Get in touch with a local Le Leche League, they might know! The information is out there if you look in the right places. My daughter is over 4 months old, and I still talk to my angel on a semi-regular basis... She will be in my heart forever! There is NOTHING like an amazing birth to completely make you fall in love with helping people make this connection. The birth with my daughter lasted five hours TOTAL. The actual birth was less than ten minutes, and I guarantee you that those numbers wouldn't have been possible without a doula.

Pregnant? Find a doula. Interview her (or them). Hire one. Experience the best birth you can. :) Its your body and your birth! TAKE CONTROL!

With love,

-A

Have a Natural Birth! (Your body and baby will thank you!)

Vaginal Canal.
Placenta.
Cervix.
Uterus.
Umbilical cord.

Yes. This blog post is about all the lovely things concerning birth, postpartum care, and the vagina. If you are easily disturbed by any of these things... Then I'm deeply sorry, but it's part of life!

Let's back track to my first birth, 3 1/2 years ago with my son. I wanted a natural birth, but did NOT prepare myself for the experience. I also was having kidney stones at the time so it just threw me for a loop.

This is going to be the short version.
~Labor was 12 hours (which is not terribly long for a first birth)
~Incredible pain, felt like I had no control over my body
~Felt disappointed in myself for getting epidural
~After my son was born, I could not see him for 8 hours because his oxygen stats were low and he had to be under a hood for oxygen. During this time he was given formula (without my knowledge) and a pacifier.
~No skin to skin time whatsoever, even when they brought him back to me. I wasn't informed about kangaroo care at the time, but the hospital staff should have encouraged it after our time apart.
~He did not want to latch at all. I had incredible, indescribable pain trying to nurse him.
~My LC in the hospital had never had a child, and had no experience in trying to teach someone to nurse. And yes, she was really the lc on staff.

Come to find out, only after the nursing journey with my daughter, my son also has a lip tie and posterior tongue tie. These could have been fixed in the hospital.

Its not hard to tell that my experience with my son was NOT at all what I wanted. I was scared, felt out of control, and like no one heard or understood what my needs were as a birthing mother.

...Then I got pregnant with my daughter and started to educate myself. Here are some pictures of my AMAZING experience with her birth

As you can see, it was a beautiful moment for all of us, especially for me. Although I was induced (Only because I was "overdue" and my midwife was going out of town for a week... I didn't want to birth with someone else.) I felt in control, and it was less than half the time of my previous birth. I labored for 5 hours, and pushed for less than 10 minutes, and my daughter was 8 pounds 11 ounces! She was no petite baby. My body was like a well-oiled machine, thanks to months of Kegals and other exercises. We did immediate skin-to-skin for 2 hours and nursed within 10 minutes of her being born. It was incredible. I never felt so connected to someone else before! We did delayed cord cutting also, so she literally came out of my body and onto my chest. Sweet, pure magic. She was BRIGHT eyed and full of energy. She didn't sleep until 6 hours had passed after her birth. Indescribable magic.

Now, let me tell you, I have NEVER felt so good in my life. The end of a pregnancy is usually miserable and seemingly infinite, and then postpartum has its own lovely drawbacks... But I felt GREAT after I had Natalee. I felt like I could have run a marathon. Energy was abundant even through cluster-feeding baby insomnia. When we left the hospital I told my husband that I couldn't believe how amazing I felt. I had nearly no pain "down there" and only had uterine pain while nursing. (Only from the uterus shrinking and going back to its non-pregnant size... Discomfort is totally normal.) 

Here are some points that I found personally from having a completely natural birth and breastfeeding experience:

-Baby comes out alert and eager to nurse.

-No foggyness or headaches from epidural.

-Urge to push without assistance.

-Being in control of your own body.

-Can walk immediately following birth. (and I WANTED to!!)

-No catheter. 

-No drugs get passed to baby.

-Rush of endorphins as baby is born.

-Much more safe for both mom and baby. No risks of spinal headaches, or any other injuries. I won't list them all here, but there are many! Look them up. :)

-No long scary needles.

Here are some benefits of immediate skin to skin or "Kangaroo Care" following birth.

-Instant bonding between mom and baby.

-Security for baby.

-Regulates baby's heart beat and breathing.

-Faster baby-to-breast nursing and encourages baby to crawl to breast on their own. (Yes, I said crawl!)

-Calming for both mom and baby after such a wild ride down the birth canal.

Those are just some that I personally found. I would not trade this experience for anything. Your body as a woman was created to do this. You are SO much stronger than you think! YOU CAN DO THIS. Don't be scared by other mom's horror stories or bullied by the hospital to get/do things you don't want to do. Birth should be a beautiful experience, not a terrifying one. My next blog post will be about the benefits of having a doula, so stay tuned for that! :)

With love

-A