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Monday, November 24, 2014

Dancing in His Sovereignty

I really love music.
Its one of my favorite things about humanity. We create beautiful sounds with our mouths and instruments, our hands can clap and our feet can stomp. We are such musical beings, regardless of how much you consider yourself a musician. Almost all of us have certain songs that spark memories, instigate bad decisions, fire us up for a  good workout... the list goes on. Music can fuel almost anything we do and make it more enjoyable.

My favorite way to inject music into my life is deep and personal worship. That devotional time spent, one-on-one, with the Lord. I'm not talking about the worship at church, which IS awesome, but I'm talking about the quiet time with only me and my Savior. That is when music is really special and precious. I challenge you to sit down for a moment and just put on some Kari Jobe or Chris Tomlin songs and see where your mind goes. Usually it takes me to a place where I can no longer sit and listen, I have to be either standing or dancing. Usually dancing.

When I'm really deep in my worship time, my favorite thing to do is roll out my yoga mat, crank up the music, and just start moving with the flow of the music. Depending on the situation, prayers of thanksgiving or a humble request start to flow from my mind. One of my favorite times, it was actually a really horrible day. I made it to the amazing facility where I teach my yoga class, and no one showed up for class this day. I stayed anyway to do my own sequence.... it turned into one of those really beautiful broken moments where you just come to the place of understanding, I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE. I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH. Okay, God. I surrender. So I had Kari Jobe radio on Pandora, and her song Steady My Heart came on.

My prayer went something like this.
"Mmm God, this song was just what I needed. Steady my flustered heart. This hurts so much. Why does this keep happening? You are completely sovereign, always. Thank you. (tears start coming) I trust you even though I hate this. Are you trying to teach me something? Am I so thick-headed that you had to resort to THIS to get the message sent? Okay, I'm sorry. I know you want the best for me and are working all things for my good, and you have given me a spirit of power. Ahhh ok. I'm at peace with this.....*dancing* Ugh God I just don't understand why I feel so helpless! I am not a victim here. I want to be triumphant. Steaaadddyyyy girl. Woah. Breathe. Okay, thank you, Father. You are holy.You are holy. You are holy. Steady my heart. Calm the storm inside me. Sloooow down. Ahhhh, sweet spot. Thank you God. Thank you."

It might be messy. That's ok. This is worship.

If you have read any of my blog posts before, you know that I tend to have popcorn thoughts. It is what it is. :) I just wanted to let you know that God is holy. His ways sometimes aren't what our ways look like, but his are ALWAYS, always better. It's okay to dance in His presence and sing and cry and scream and laugh and fall and run and crawl up in His arms. He is holy. We are not. Let's worship him together... Through the hard times, and the best of times. I love you Lord!


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